the wait is over

In April, I learned that the time had come for treatment.  Since my diagnosis, my blood counts gradually worsened and my spleen had become enlarged, to the point where treatment was needed.  On April 29, the wait was over and I had my first IV infusions of Rituxan and Treanda, followed the next day by just Treanda.  Rituxan is a monoclonal antibody that targets the cancer cells and Treanda is a general chemo drug.

Although terribly anxious and a basket case my first day, I was blessed to have the support of my dear sweet husband :).   I also had the company and support of several other patients who were having infusions that day in the same room.  At first, I didn't appreciate the company of strangers, but I learned to appreciate the gift of their positiveness and encouragement.  It was yet another sign that "attitude is the answer!"

Although the infusion took from 10:00-4:00, I didn't have any significant reactions after my first day.  The worst was that I was unable to get to sleep until after 2:00am (due to the after effects of Benadryl and a steroid given with my infusion).  In fact, the next morning, I enjoyed my walk with Moonstar and had breakfast with friends before I took a short nap.  At 3:00 I was back in the infusion room.  I just received Treanda so it went faster and I was done by 5:00.

I was much more tired this time and had a slight metallic taste that I had heard others talk about.  My appetite was off and nausea would come and go, so I just ate small, more frequent meals (anything that sounded good).  Unfortunately I don't have any extra weight to lose!

Note to self: don't let them leave the IV in overnight.  Although it works for some so they don't get repoked the second day, I ended up with swelling of the vein around the IV site that still is sore and tender at times.  I'd much rather get poked again.

For the next 10 days, I continued a simple routine of taking the kids to and from school and walking the dog.  And of course napping as I learned that "tired" was the new normal, at least for awhile!  I'm thinking that Moonstar has the right idea:  eat ice cream and soak up some sunshine!

Each day was a little better, but recently I did experience another little bump in the road.  On Mother's Day, I got pink eye in both eyes.  We found out the next day that it was allergic pink eye, so at least it wasn't contagious.  Not sure what I'm allergic to, but I won't be wearing contacts anytime soon! 

Yesterday I finally got back to some flexibility exercise and 10 minutes on the elliptical.  Boy am I out of shape!  
 

 

a little history

Not sure why I'm blogging.  Maybe it's for my friends and family.  Maybe it's for me.  Maybe it's for both, but I feel the need to blog; so here goes.

A little history:  I was diagnosed with CLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) in January 2008 during a routine blood panel at my yearly exam.  I soon learned that this was the "watch and wait" cancer.  For the next six years, I was followed routinely by a hematology oncologist who checked my blood counts and examined me for swollen lymph nodes and spleen.  For awhile it was every six months, then every four months and recently every two months. Sometimes it seemed more like "watch and worry" as I never knew when the "other shoe would drop" and I would need treatment. 

During my wait, I learned the first gift of cancer: the gift of choice.  Although I had heard of it before, it really became personal; that how I feel about myself, my life and what happens to me is all in my attitude.  Each morning, I have the choice to be grateful or feel sorry for myself.  I'm still learning, but when I focus on the positive, I notice the joys in the world rather than the unhappiness and I am thankful. 

I've always loved nature, but since my diagnosis, I appreciate so many little things: a tiny bird, the light shining on leaves blowing in the breeze, clouds in the blue sky, squirrels playing tag...and I realize that God's creation is such an awesome expression of his love for us. So comforting and it's right out the window anytime I need it.