A little history: I was diagnosed with CLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) in January 2008 during a routine blood panel at my yearly exam. I soon learned that this was the "watch and wait" cancer. For the next six years, I was followed routinely by a hematology oncologist who checked my blood counts and examined me for swollen lymph nodes and spleen. For awhile it was every six months, then every four months and recently every two months. Sometimes it seemed more like "watch and worry" as I never knew when the "other shoe would drop" and I would need treatment.
During my wait, I learned the first gift of cancer: the gift of choice. Although I had heard of it before, it really became personal; that how I feel about myself, my life and what happens to me is all in my attitude. Each morning, I have the choice to be grateful or feel sorry for myself. I'm still learning, but when I focus on the positive, I notice the joys in the world rather than the unhappiness and I am thankful.
I've always loved nature, but since my diagnosis, I appreciate so many little things: a tiny bird, the light shining on leaves blowing in the breeze, clouds in the blue sky, squirrels playing tag...and I realize that God's creation is such an awesome expression of his love for us. So comforting and it's right out the window anytime I need it.
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